Nothing and Everything

I did not receive because I did not ask.

Yet when I asked, I still did not receive because I asked with the wrong intentions.

I always sought it and thought receiving it would liberate me.

Only after many years of tribulations, griefs and anguish did it finally sink into my head that seeking it has not only ruined me, but destructed many others as well.

Instead of liberation, it has only imprisoned.

There are some truths that we can never discover. Have the serenity to accept it when you can't know the truth. Yet also have the courage to face it when you have to face the truth.

We don't have to know everything, because we simply need to trust Him. He knows best. Until you finally fully understand this, you'd never be liberated.

We only go to Him when we're at the end of the rope.

Just recognize it: we're hopeless sinner.

Until you recognize that you're a hopeless sinner, desperate for His Grace, you'd never be liberated.

I always thought 'If only I have this, I'd be blessed and free', but looking back, I was the most liberated and closest to You when I was impoverished. The more I gained, the more I thought I was in control and I thought I could gain more - another classic example of how Your fallen people can't handle too much blessings.

Now, suddenly, I've lost it all. A timely lesson and discipline by You, as I've always implored You to do so unto me.

I give up. Really. Finally. I surrender all to You.