Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) in Sudan

This post deals with mature content.

Thus, please discern if you are too prude for this.

What is FGM?

Widely practised in Sudan, FGM can include:

1. Clitoridectomy: Known as sunna in Sudan, this involves the removal of the clitoral hood with or without the removal of all or part of the clitoris.

2. Excision: the removal of the clitoris together with part or all of the labia minora.

3. Infibulation: the removal of all or part of the external genitalia (clitoris, labia minora and labia majora) and stitching or narrowing of the vaginal opening, leaving a very small opening to allow for the flow of urine and menstrual blood. The girl or woman’s legs are usually bound together from the hip to the ankle so that she remains immobile for approximately 40 days to allow the wound to heal.

In the majority of cases, the procedure is carried out without local anaesthetic. The invasive nature of FGM and the unsanitary conditions under which it is performed can lead to serious health complications. These include haemorrhaging and severe pain, which may cause shock or death. The procedure can also cause numerous complications resulting from scarring and interference with the drainage of urine and menstrual blood. This can in turn lead to pelvic and back pain, dysmenorrhoea, infertility, chronic urinary tract infections, urinary stones and kidney damage.

Why is it practised?

Reasons given for the practice include the belief that it will protect virginity. Castledine (undated) explains that FGM is intended to both control women’s sexual drives and cleanse their genitalia by removing the clitoris, which is seen as masculine - the female penis. Brunner explains that uncut women are associated with promiscuity and lack of social respectability. Because of FGM’s association with purity, it is believed that girls who have not been excised have little chance of marriage in countries where FGM is practised.

Taken from:

http://vosesa.org.za/focus/vol3_no3/index.html?article_2.html~content 

It's responsibility.

'Doubt', a play and film of the same title and story centers around a nun's unshakable, unprovable and prejudiced belief that a priest has made advances of an improper relationship with one of his altar boys, who is the first and only African-American student in the church's attached school. 

Father Flynn, the compassionate, upbeat and charismatic priest, is working to gradually replace the school and church's rigid legalism with sincere love and kindness. He is fiercely opposed by the 'iron-gloved Principal', Sister Aloysius, 'who believes in the power of fear and discipline' and 'running the school like a prison'.

Sister Aloysius is a cynically loveless, prejudiced and self-righteous character who is unwelcoming towards innovations and unappreciative of creativity and arts. She is strongly reproving towards the use of ballpoint pens, condemnatory towards people adding sugar to their tea, and disparaging towards secular songs. She was prejudiced against the priest and was utterly and irrationally convinced of the priest's 'crime', and was determined to expel the priest, despite having absolutely no evidences against him, but only her own self-righteous certainty.

Due to the excellent relationship Father Flynn enjoys with his colleagues, and the obvious admiration and love that the African-American altar boy has for the Father, as Father Flynn protects the boy from another boy's bullying, Sister Aloysius is downright certain that the priest has a serious problem and that his pedophiliac relationship with the altar boy must be it.

----------------------------------------------------------

Two dialogues from the film:

Sister Aloysius: I'll bring him (Father Flynn) down.

Sister James: How can you be so sure that he is lying (about not having an improper relationship with the black student)?
Sister Aloysius: Experience.
Sister James: You just don't like him! You don't like it that he uses a ballpoint pen. You don't like it that he takes 3 lumps of sugar in his tea. You don't like it that he likes 'Frosty the Snowman' and you are letting that convince you? Of something (the pedophiliac relationship) that's terrible... Just terrible...
Sister James: [Exasperated] Well, I like 'Frosty the Snowman! And I think it will be nice if this school weren't run like a jail. And I think it's a good thing that I love to teach History and that I might inspire my students to love it, too. And if you judge that to mean that I am not fit to be a teacher, then so be it. 

Father Flynn: It's me that cares about that child, not her. Has she ever reached out a hand? That black boy needs help or he's not gonna make it. If she has her way, he'll be left to his own undoing. Why do you think he drank the wine? He's in trouble. And she sees me talk in a human way to these kids and she immediately assumes there must be something wrong with it. Well, I'm not gonna let her keep this parish in the dark ages. And I'm not gonna let her destroy my spirit of compassion. 

Sister James: I'm sure that's not her intent. 

Father Flynn: That I care about this congregation.

Sister James: I know you do.

Father Flynn: Like you care about your class. You love them, don't you?

Sister James: Yes.

Father Flynn: And that's natural. How else would you relate to children?

Sister James: (Stares blankly) 

Father Flynn: Now, I can look at your face and know your philosophy. It's kindness.

Sister James: I don't know. I mean, of course.

Father Flynn: There are people who go after your humanity, Sister. There are people who go after your humanity. They will tell you that the light in your heart is a weakness. Don't believe it. It's an old tactic of cruel people to kill kindness in the light of virtue. There's nothing wrong with love. 

Sister James: Love?

Father Flynn: Have you forgotten the message of our saviour? It's love of people.

----------------------------------------------------------

Doubts. Prejudices. How far can your doubts and prejudices take you? In her quest to 'prove' that the priest is guilty and to expel him, she even declares that she will 'step away from God' and be 'damned to hell' as she does 'what needs to be done' (she lied blatantly).

Sadly, even in today's age, in spite of the widespread message and teaching of Jesus' love, many followers still allow their prejudices and self-righteousness to take control of them as they consciously set out to devastate individuals' reputations and lives, in various ways, especially with gossip and defamation.

The Sister threatened the Father to leave, or risk having her openly fight him by declaring his 'crime' aloud. Taken aback by the hostility of the Sister, the Father asked him where her compassion is, and she replied "Nowhere you can get at it".

Ultimately, he decided to leave the church. But his superior (the head pastor) not only transferred him to another church and its attached school, but promoted him as well.

"Since he's innocent, why did he leave?", you would ask. 

Haven't we all witnessed scores of examples around us that the accusation and/or gossip about a person committing a crime can be equally damaging as having been convicted of the crime?

When you are accused of such a crime, your reputation is equally ruined and the trust you have built with others damaged as well. You don't even need to be guilty.

What more, this Sister is insanely and strongly intent on bringing him down, and she sure has the shrewd ability to do so. Instead of focusing on God's work and loving the students and congregation, the Father would have to be distracted with the need to fight with her.

When people are obstinately unrepentant and bent on destroying you, what do you do? Do you stay on to be 'responsible' for them? Do you stay on, so as to show you have a clear conscience? Do you stay on so you can clear the misunderstanding? 

Staying on seems to be the right, responsible and heroic decision, isn't it? But, does it work for every situation?

Should Father Flynn have stayed on to 'fight' Sister Aloysius, by allowing her to accuse him and declare to the congregation his nonexistent crime? Should he have stayed on to explain to the congregation that he was being accused and instead, expose Sister Aloysius' insanity to everyone? That would have driven Sister Aloysius really mad, literally. That would have sent her into isolation, solitariness, shame and disillusionment. That might have wrecked her of any possible shred of a chance at repentance and salvation. 

Also, you might argue, that he could have stayed on and tried to enlighten and change her. Really, you really think it's possible after all his failed attempts to connect with and communicate with her and with her prejudice like an extremist's?

Instead, if he leave... She would be left in quietness to reflect on all that has happened. And he'd be given a chance to show her and everyone his integrity, as he pastor and lead another church and school. The future happenings and outcome would show and tell her what he really is. While he's elsewhere doing good, she's somewhere hearing about all his goodness and be left by herself to reflect on the past.

Sometimes, you don't need to be 'there' to actually impact a person. You don't need to be 'there' to directly talk to a person to enlighten him/her.

Sometimes, leaving is the responsible thing to do.

God spoke to me through a film, again.

Gossip - feathers on wind

A sermon that was given by 'Father Flynn' in the film, 'Doubt'.

"A woman was gossiping with her friend about a man whom they hardly knew - I know none of you have ever done this (an ironical joke that set the congregation laughing). That night, she had a dream: a great hand appeared over her and pointed down on her. She was immediately seized with an overwhelming sense of guilt.

The next day she went to confession. She got the old parish priest, Father O' Rourke, and she told him the whole thing. 'Is gossiping a sin?' she asked the old man. 'Was that God All Mighty's hand pointing down at me? Should I ask for your absolution? Father, have I done something wrong?'

'Yes,' Father O' Rourke answered her. 'Yes, you ignorant, badly-brought-up female. You have blamed false witness on your neighbor. You played fast and loose with his reputation, and you should be heartily ashamed.' So, the woman said she was sorry, and asked for forgiveness.

'Not so fast,' says O' Rourke. 'I want you to go home, take a pillow upon your roof, cut it open with a knife, and return here to me.' So, the woman went home: took a pillow off her bed, a knife from the drawer, went up the fire escape to her roof, and stabbed the pillow. Then she went back to the old parish priest as instructed.

'Did you cut the pillow with a knife?' he says.
'Yes, Father.'
'And what were the results?'
'Feathers,' she said.
'Feathers?' he repeated.
'Feathers; everywhere, Father.'
'Now I want you to go back and gather up every last feather that flew out onto the wind.'
'Well,' she said, 'it can't be done. I don't know where they went. The wind took them all over.'
'And that,' said Father O' Rourke, 'is gossip!'"

3 hot questions

Before I answer any of these controversial questions, I'd have to set a disclaimer first (this is after all, internet). Contrary to popular belief that I'm so 'holy' and 'godly', I'm really very much a young Christian who still has a lot to learn from and grow into. Therefore, my answer might not be in-depth enough. But it doesn't shortchange the credibility in any way at all, as my answer is based on what I have learnt from reliable preachers, and also personal observation and experience. So you can be assured that my answers are in no way cultic. Of course, these are not 'model answers', but rather, how I'd personally answer peers who throw me these all-time popular questions.

1. "Why do you Christians continue to lie, backstab, gossip, malign and even oppress or bully others even after accepting Christ?"

I get this question in a myriad of paraphrases all too often.

Firstly, this is earth, not heaven. This is a truth so stark and plain, you'd be surprised how so many of us fail to get the point. Since Adam's fall, all humans' genes are already 'contaminated' with a sinful nature. We're all sinful by nature already. As Psalm 51:5 says, "Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me." 

Becoming Christians doesn't mean our sinful DNA are suddenly stripped off and we're bestowed with a halo ring above our heads. Becoming Christians means we finally acknowledge 1 fact and commit to 1 thing. The 1 fact is that Christ is real and all His teachings are real and accurate. The 1 commitment is to love and obey the Lord with all our heart.

So Christians basically commit to obeying all of the Lord's commands (which includes not lying, backstabbing, gossiping, bullying, raping, robbing, etc) and loving the Lord and everyone else around, but because we're still stuck with our sinful DNA within us, we sometimes get tempted by Satan and choose to defy the Lord. It's just like how children sometimes wholeheartedly and sincerely promise not to be naughty anymore but as they're inherently playful, sometimes it just takes a little temptation and nudging to spark that naughtiness to act up.

2. "So why doesn't God just instantly remove Christians' sinful nature, so that you'd all become sinless? Why doesn't He just make Christians' life smooth-sailing and trouble-free since they've already acknowledged Him?"

As an excerpt of 2 Samuel 24:24 by King David goes "I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing." I believe that sums up everything.

In the first place, God has already graciously sent His only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins, so that we don't have to be condemned in hell for our sins, so that all our sins are wiped out, as long as we confess all our sins and acknowledge that Jesus has helped wipe out those sins of ours.

Like diamonds, we need to be cut by other diamonds (as in, other humans) in order to be cut into that uniquely beautiful shape we were planned to be. Like a diamond-craftsman has a plan and specific shape he wants that diamond to be turned into, it's the same for God towards us - He has a unique specific plan for our lives, but we need to be moulded into that beauty through trials and cuttings. 

The only difference is that diamonds don't get to choose, but we get to. Because God doesn't want to love robots that are programmed to love Him without choice. That kind of love, needless to say, is utterly meaningless. 

He wants our reciprocal love and He wants us to be developed into a beautiful person, not by force, but with our willingness.

3. "But I think you Christians go to church and use it like a social club, networking club, or matchmaking agency."

Jesus advocates fellowship and love. He always go to people's houses to dine and fellowship, together with His disciples. There have been instances of Jesus dining, drinking, catching up with His friends as He also taught and enlightened them on many issues. That is healthy fellowship.

However, probably people have also seen some other people exploiting this healthy fellowship that was taught and encouraged. 

Again, Christians are not saints. We commit to obeying His teachings and one of it being not to defile the church by making use of the church for the wrong means. Ask any Christian about the very rare occasion when Jesus actually got angry (righteous anger) and overturned tables in a temple because people were making use of the temple to do business. All of us have our own 'weak spots' when it comes to sin. Some of us are prone to lying, some of us are prone to gossip, while some of us are probably prone to profiteering (business, networking, partner-finding, finding gains, making use of others, etc.), even in the church.

Also, we all know that not everyone who comes to church is really interested in God, hence the occasionally outrageous business-making, networking, and partner-finding. Some come with ulterior motives or personal agendas. Even though this is a fact and we know it happens all around, we really shouldn't judge who are the ones doing that, because it's none of our business. Judging people is really God's business.

Even if people do come to the church with ulterior motives or personal agendas, and have no intention of actually committing their lives to God, they should still be welcomed and loved. Hear this from Matthew 9:12: "On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.""

Serenely beatific

A famous prayer was written:

"God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next."

- disputable authorship 

Nun not

I'm not living in a vow of self-imposed celibacy.

There have been guys I liked.

But I know we won't work out for sure, so I might as well save both parties heartbreaks by not starting anything in the first place.

I'm not fussy. It's just too tough to find someone uniquely compatible with anyone. I don't want to take this lightly. So either I be with the right one, or remain single always.

So people should stop speculating if I'm:

1. secretly having a relationship

2. seriously heartbroken before

3. affected by all the divorces/bad marriages around me

4. highly fussy

5. secretly lesbian

Silly people.

Also, seeing the state that our world is in and the many pressing issues around that sometimes depress me and other times stir me to feel I could do my little bit to help, romantic relationships naturally disinterest me.

Furthermore, there are still so many places I haven't been to and so many people from so many cultures that I've yet met. I doubt that if I'm committed to a romantic relationship, I can gain all these precious experiences. Then again, if that other half has the same vision and interests, we can even experience all these together. So it boils down to whether God actually has anyone in mind.

Though there are occasions, frankly, seeing how people fight uglily over life partners and seeing how marriages turn out so destructive, I hope that God has no one in mind for me. Occasionally.